Spelling Bee (拼字比賽)
I’d be a lot better off if I would have studied more when I was growing up, you know.
如果我在成長的時候用功一點，我現在就會過的好的很多。
(註: I’d是I would的縮寫；本句是一個假設語氣，請參見文法書p.119)
But you know where it all went wrong was the day they started the Spelling Bee. Cuz up, until that day, I was an idiot but nobody else knew, you know, the Spelling Bee day, you know, popped up.
他們開始舉行拼字比賽那一天，什麼都出糗了。沒有人知道我是一個白癡直到拼字比賽突然舉行。
“Alright, kids! Up against the wall, it’s time for public humiliation.”
小朋友！靠著牆壁站好，公開羞辱的時間到了。
Spell a word wrong and sit down in front of your friends. You know, that’s great for little egos. Hey, look at me I’m a moron. I wasn’t even close. I was using numbers and stuff. That’s why I admire that kid who spelled the word wrong on purpose, so he could sit down, you know. He knew he wasn’t going to win, so why stand there for three hours.
拼錯字在你的朋友面前坐下。那對那些自大的小傢伙們真有幫助 (諷刺法)。嗨！你看我是一個笨蛋。我實在差的太多。我甚至還在用數字和圖型(在拼字)。這也就是我為什麼羨慕那個故意答錯就坐下的小子。他知道他贏不了，為什麼還要站在那裡3個小時。
First round: cat. 第一回合：cat (貓)
“K-A-T, I’m out of here!” KAT(故意拼錯)，我可以離開囉！
And as he passed you, “HAHA, I know there’s two T’s.”
當他經過你的時候說：”哈哈，我知道應該有2個T”
(註：他以為cat是katt，是故意拼錯成kat，有夠自以為是)
I remember my teacher asked me, “Brian, what’s the ‘i’ before ‘e’ rule?”
我記得我的老師問我：Brian，i在e前面的規則是什麼?
“UM…‘i’ before ‘e’? - - “Always!”
i在e前面? - - 單字裡的 i都是都在e的前面ㄚ！
“What are you, an idiot, Brian?” 你是白痴嗎，Brian?
“Apparently!” 很顯然的是。
So she explained, “No, Brian! It’s ‘i’ before ‘e’ except after c, and with sounding like ‘ay /e/’, it’s neighbor and weigh, and the weekends and holidays, and all throughout May, and you’ll always be wrong no matter what you say!”
她解釋了：不是的，Brian！ i是在e的前面，但有例外：在c之後和發音為”ay /e/”的，例如neighbor, weigh，還有weekends and holidays，還有整個May(5月)，你不管怎麼答總是出錯。
(註：i 通常是排在e的前面，這是英文的一種拼字規則，例如：siege, friend, thief；但前面若有c就會變成ei了，例如：ceiling, receive…還有發音為"ay /e/"，例如neighbor, weigh...還有weekends和holidays…還有May(5月)的任何一天...；老美是看字母發音的，這是把字母ay和音標/e/混在一起了，例如weekends連i都沒有(由weekends扯到Saturday,Sunday也是例外)，再扯到May的ay發音是” /e/”，那麼May的任何一天也都是例外囉，這是對這一個規則的反讽，不學也罷。)
“That’s a hard rule. That’s a rough rule.”
真是一個很難的規則。真是一個很粗糙的規則。
Plurals were hard, too.
名詞的單複數也很難。
“Brian, how do you make a word a plural?”
Brian, 你如何把一個單字變成複數。
“Um…you put an ‘s’, you put an “s” at the end of it.”
你加一個s…你在字尾加一個s
“When?” 什麼時候?
“On weekends and holidays.”
在weekends and holidays (註：小孩子喜歡假日，假日加s複數當然好囉)
No, Brian! No! Let me show you. So she asks this kid who knew everything.
Brian,不是的。讓我教你。她問了一個無所不知的小孩。
“Erwin, Erwin! What is the plural of ox?”
Erwin, Erwin! 公牛ox的複數是什麼？
“Oxen, the farmer used the oxen.”
農夫都是這麼說的。
“Brian!”
“What?” 什麼事？
“What’s the plural of box?”
盒子box的複數是什麼？
“Boxen. I bought two boxen of doughnuts.”
(註：應該是boxes，他以為跟oxen一樣，說成boxen) 我買了二盒甜甜圈。
No, Brian, no! Let’s try another one.
Brian,不是的。我們來試另一個字。
“Erwin, what is the plural of goose.”
Erwin, goose(鵝)的複數是什麼？
“Geese, I saw a flock of geese.”
Geese, 我看到一群鵝。
“Brian!”
“What?” 什麼事？
“Brian, what’s the plural of moose?
Brian, moose(北美麋鹿)的複數是什麼？
“Moosen! I saw a flock of moosen. There are many of them, many much moosen, out in the woods and the woodes, and the woodsen. The meese wants the food. Food is eatensen. The meese wants the food in the woodsen-eatensen, in the food…wood-eatensen…. “
(註：1. moose的複數仍然是moose；moose的一群是a herd of不是a flock of
2. moose是可數名詞，不定形容詞要用many，不能用much，用many much更是離譜。
3. woods是森林；wood是木材，是不可數名詞，沒有woodes或woodsen這個字。
4. moose也不能像goose的複數geese一樣， 說成meese
“Brian, Brian! You’re an imbecile.”
Brian, Brian! 你是一個笨蛋。
“Imbecilen.”
(註：imbecile的複數應該是imbeciles，更不能像oxen一樣的變化)
“What are you speaking, German? Brian?
Brian,你在說德文嗎?
“German.”
德國人
“/‘Ger-men/ /Ger-‘men/”
(註：German的複數是Germans；並不是像man的複數men，把German說成Germen；重音一下子說在第一音節，又說在第二音節)
“Jackson.”
“Jackson five, Chino.”
(註：1. 人名的複數是Jacksons，他把它的複數說成Jackson 5 (Michael Jackson的5個兄弟早年所組成的合唱團名)。
2. Chino是西班牙文的中國人，中國人有13億人口，說Chino總可以當作夠複數了吧(Chino的複數是Chinos；英文Chinese的單複數是同一個單字)。
“Brian, what the hell are you talking about?”
Brian,你在說個什麼呀?
“I don’t know. I don’t know really….”
我不知道。我真的不知道…。
(註：名詞的複數變化規則可參見文法書p189-196) |
